Why do we cling so tightly to being right, even when it steals our calm?
Originally posted on LinkedIn on 18 Sept 2025
Why do we cling so tightly to being right, even when it steals our calm?
Do you find yourself going in circles in meetings, or stuck in silly arguments?
There’s a story I love, told by the great meditation master Ajahn Chah. It was later retold by Ajahn Brahm, a Buddhist monk known for his warm and practical wisdom.
A couple is out walking one evening when they hear a “Quack! Quack!” in the woods.
The wife says, “That’s a duck.”
The husband insists, “No, that’s a chicken.”
Back and forth they go: “It’s a duck!” “It’s a chicken!”
Finally, the wife softens and says, “You know what, you’re right. It is a chicken.”
She realised something simple: it didn’t matter whether it was a chicken or a duck. What mattered was their harmony, their relationship.
In leadership (and in life), we often waste so much energy in the same way — locked in arguments, trying to prove ourselves right. We assume letting go makes us look weak.
But true strength is seeing clearly what matters.
Not who is right, but what is important.
Where in your life or leadership are you stuck with the chickens and ducks?