In leadership, the most overlooked part of any conversation is often the beginning.

Originally posted on LinkedIn on 12 Sept 2025

In leadership, the most overlooked part of any conversation is often the beginning.

Bill Torbert calls it Framing, the first of the four parts of speech.

Think of framing as drawing a boundary wall around the conversation. Not to keep people out, but to mark the space we are stepping into together. It shows why we are here and what we hope to get out of this exchange.

Without that wall, people are left to guess. They spend energy trying to figure out the point instead of fully engaging with what matters.

With a clear frame, everyone knows how to orient their attention. The conversation feels safer, more focused, and more purposeful.

In leadership this can make all the difference:

“I want to share some observations about how we’re approaching this project, and then agree on two adjustments we could make going forward.”
“I’d like to hear your perspective on how the role is evolving, and align on the next priorities for you.”
“I want to share my appreciation for the work you have been doing.”
“I want to check in on how you’re feeling about workload, and see if we can agree on a plan to make it more sustainable.”

In a way, framing is like a mini summary of the whole conversation before it begins. It acts as a guard rail that prevents it from derailing and gently guides it toward the outcome you have in mind.

And this is not only true at work. Even in personal life, how often do misunderstandings come from not saying upfront why we want to talk? A little framing can prevent a lot of unnecessary tension.

As a leader, partner, parent, or friend, when was the last time you framed a conversation and how did it change what followed?