If I could go back, I’d learn this one communication skill first.
Originally posted on LinkedIn on 13 Oct 2025
If I could go back, I’d learn this one communication skill first.
How often do we find ourselves hoping someone will get the hint?
We talk around what we really want, describing situations, sharing frustrations, or dropping subtle cues, and then feel disappointed when the other person does not respond the way we hoped.
One of the simplest yet most powerful communication skills I learned early in my coaching education, and wish I had learned as a child or at least when I was in various leadership roles, is the skill of making a request.
Making a request is not about being demanding.
It is about being clear.
It is the most direct and respectful way to communicate what you would like the other person to do.
Here are some examples that I have seen show up many times.
You tell your manager the team feels disconnected from company goals.
Instead of stopping there, you might say:
“Would you be willing to join our next town hall and share how you see our team’s work connected to the company vision?”
An employee tells you they are overworked and struggling to manage priorities.
Instead of meandering through the conversation, you could say:
“Would you be willing to come prepared next time we talk with a list of what you have been working on so we can go through it together and decide what to eliminate?”
Your partner often leaves their shoes on the floor and it really bothers you.
Instead of the passive comment “Ah, you left your shoes out again!” you could say:
“It bothers me to see the shoes on the floor. Would you be willing to put them in the shoe rack for my sake?”
It is a small shift, from hinting to asking, but it changes everything.
When we make clear requests, we give others the chance to say yes, no, or something in between.
And that is where real understanding and collaboration begin.
What is a request you wish you had made more directly in the past?