Have you ever left a conversation feeling that you were talking, but not really connecting?
Originally posted on LinkedIn on 07 Oct 2025
Have you ever left a conversation feeling that you were talking, but not really connecting?
It happens more often than we notice. We share ideas, offer opinions, try to understand each other, yet somehow the connection stays on the surface.
In leadership and in life, the way we listen shapes the quality of every relationship and every moment of connection. It’s not just whether we listen, but where we place our attention.
There are three levels of listening that make all the difference.
Level 1 is internal listening.
Our attention is on us. We hear the words but interpret them through our own thoughts, judgments and experiences. It helps us make sense of things, but it keeps the focus inward.
Level 2 is focused listening.
Our attention shifts over there. We are fully present with the other person and listen for what matters to them — their ideas, emotions and point of view.
Level 3 is global listening.
Here the focus widens to 360 degrees. We notice tone, emotion, body language, energy and even what’s not being said. We sense what’s happening between us and in the space around us.
When we listen at Level 3, something changes.
The conversation slows down. Understanding deepens. People feel safe to say what they really mean.
Next time you’re in a conversation, pause and notice — which level are you listening from?
And what might happen if you shifted it, just for a moment?
(Adapted from the Co-Active Coaching model, Co-Active Training Institute)